Monday, December 26, 2011

ATTENTION


Um. Yeah. It's the day after Christmas. Some of us have had way too much of everything. Butter. Chocolate. Vodka. Our family. Whatever that too much is...let's all take a collective moment to appreciate that fact that it's now time to go back to the gym/oatmeal and almond milk instead of Christmas cookies for breakfast/not buying crap/vacuuming(What? Am I the only one who totally avoids vacuuming during the holiday season?). Sigh. It's time. Time to put on our real pants. And make them fit. It's time to get pissed at the woman in yoga class who looks like she has Xena Warrior Princess's abs...and to perhaps decide that she needs her own damn yoga class...for people that have those sort of abs in real life without special lighting and makeup. Yeah. It's okay to feel a jealous rage brewing when you see her. Even though it's YOGA class. Even though you are supposed to be learning to feel compassion and empathy. Well...I say...that woman should have some empathy for me and keep those abs under wraps. I don't need to see that mere days after I may have eaten a one pound box of chocolate in the car under duress during a Christmas Eve shopping outing gone wrong. I had to eat it. It was the chocolate...or Applebee's. I think I chose wisely. Happy boxing day. Now pull yourself together and go throw out those cookies you are mindlessly eating.

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