Thursday, November 3, 2011


So I spend some time reading blogs. I like the voyeuristic quality. I also like to look at pictures of stuff. So blogs make sense…cause like…they are pictures of other people’s lives. They are little Cinéma vérité . They are addictive.

Sometimes I want to read a blog because:

-I want to look at photos of food.

-I want to read about and look at makeup.

-I want to look at photos of clothes.

-I want to pretend that my life is half as interesting as the people’s blogs I read.

-I want to feel like I am connected to the person’s blog voice. Too perfect or serious doesn’t work for me.

-I want to stare at photos of others peoples loved ones.

-I want answers to questions that have no answers.

I ask of lot of a blog. Sometimes I can’t quite find the right blog. I flip from one to the next…expecting that some how I will stumble upon the right entry for the zeitgeist of the day. And it’s like when you are in the middle of the Netflix instant play menu…or the OnDemand channel…you just sort of want what you want…and nothing is feeling right. Where is that feel good dramatic reality fairy tale lifetime channel movie from the early 90’s anyway? Why can’t it just exist? WHY? Sigh. It’s kind of like my dating life. I’ve spent quite a bit of time attempting to find something that doesn’t exist except in my head. It leaves me feeling like perhaps that is just how it is.

This past month I learned that no manner of anxiety/hope/panic/crying/dramatic appeals to celestial beings will soothe the search for love…or the perfect movie…or the right blog to read. In fact, it’s best to just sort of let it go. And relax. Cause it is fine. It is fine to date the wrong person. And not watch the right movie. And not read the right blog. In fact, it’s perfectly fine to accept the feeling of being disgruntled and dissatisfied. It just means eventually when it is right, you will enjoy it that much more.

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. –Henry David Thoureau